How Do You Talk to a Partner About Sexual Intimacy Issues?

Maybe you and your partner both feel like your intimate connection is lacking. You want to revive the spark you once had. But you’re not quite sure how to bring it up without hurting their feelings. You’re wondering how to say this without making it sound like you’re unhappy with your partner. It’s not always easy to navigate these emotional conversations.

Talking about sexual intimacy issues with your partner can feel complicated. But even the happiest of couples occasionally have to have heartfelt discussions about sexual intimacy.

People may struggle with intimacy for a number of reasons, and sometimes, it’s normal to feel you and your partner are stuck in a rut. Here are a few tips to help you handle conversations about sexual intimacy issues in your relationship.

Talk Privately

First, it’s important to choose an appropriate time to talk. You don’t want to put your partner on the spot and begin talking to them about intimacy when they’re not in the right state of mind.

For example, texting them about this issue during the workday is not the best way to go about it! Instead, bring up the subject when you and your partner are at home and feeling relaxed. Make sure that you both feel comfortable.

Be Vulnerable

It’s important to allow yourself to be truly open and vulnerable during this conversation. You do not want to be harsh with your partner, but you want to let them know how you’re feeling.

It can be hard to vocalize your needs in relation to sexual intimacy sometimes, especially if you were ever shamed for your sexuality in the past. Furthermore, you need to give your partner space to be vulnerable, too. Let them speak without judgment.

Listen and Ask Questions

This conversation should be an equal exchange between partners. You’ll have to speak up about your feelings and intimate needs. After all, no matter how attentive your partner is, they cannot read your mind.

But remember to give your partner plenty of time to speak, too. Chances are, they have their own concerns that they want to bring up. Ideally, you should both be able to spend time listening and asking questions.

Pay close attention to each other, and avoid distractions during this talk - it’s a good time to put your phones on silent.

Understand Yourself

Before you talk to your partner about sexual intimacy, take some time to reflect on what you really want out of your relationship. Do you feel like you’re having trouble with sexual intimacy because you and your partner have lost the emotional intimacy that you used to have? Or do you wish that you and your partner were more spontaneous?

By understanding your own needs and desires, you’ll be able to communicate your feelings clearly to your partner so that you can get on the same page.

Talk Often

Remember, you don’t have to stop at one conversation! In fact, rebuilding your intimate connection will probably take some time. Therefore, it’s a good idea to open this up as a topic of ongoing discussion. This is a process for you to explore with your partner.

It’s okay if you don’t feel you’ve said everything you need to say after talking about it once or twice. Honest communication is the key to restoring your sexual intimacy with your partner, bringing your spark back to life, and creating a brighter future for your relationship.

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Are you and your partner struggling with intimacy? Talking to a couples counselor can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.