Did you move to NY to succeed but you are not where you thought you would be?
Do you often question your career choices and can’t seem to find the best “next step”?
Do you catch yourself criticizing your life on a daily basis?
Are you putting yourself down for not feeling accomplished in life?
Do you feel you could do more but can’t find how to go about it?
People commonly feel stuck, unfulfilled and bored with their lives
You would be surprised at how common it is for people that come to therapy and describe how they just seem to be in a place where they feel that their life lacks meaning. They get to the first session with a profound sense of feeling unfulfilled.
People who feel stuck, unfulfilled and bored with their lives, frequently describe feeling as if what they do lacks purpose and is meaningless. They usually feel that any early ideas they had about having a meaningful impact in the world, seem to be like an idealistic, old, and unrealistic dream. They feel dissatisfied and many times, surprised about how they got to that point.
At work, people who feel bored and unfulfilled would describe some of their day to day activities as full of pointless meetings, spending too much time completing meaningless paperwork or spending countless hours on the phone with no sense of accomplishing anything.
They often have a sense of feeling unappreciated and underachieving, feeling that their opinion is unheard or unimportant and in general, feeling a sense of disconnection from co-workers, supervisors and the company with whom they work.
People feeling bored and/or unfulfilled may also describe that they are just having difficulties focusing on work tasks and their productivity has significantly decreased because they seem to have lost a sense of purpose.
For people attending school, feeling unfulfilled and bored may be described as just an overall lack of motivation to attend classes, chronic absences or lateness, difficulties meeting deadlines, struggles writing papers or reading because of a perceived loss of interest, a lack of motivation to accomplish what previously seemed exciting and full of promise.
Many students can experience a pervasive concern about the way a lower GPA can impact their ability to maintain financial aid and/or scholarships and the potential ability to find a fulfilling and well paid job at the end of all the struggle.
Some students can also experience a lot of anxiety because they feel the pressure from their families or from themselves. There may be high expectations on them about their potential and if things are not working out as planned, it is only normal to feel discouraged, insecure, doubtful and worried. This adds to a sense of inadequacy along with questioning their academic decisions and their choices in the long run as well.
In the personal realm, frequently people who are feeling unfulfilled, bored, and/or stuck describe having a hard time waking up every morning to do the same thing over and over.
People commonly describe feeling a lack of motivation to explore other alternatives, and they can hardly remember when the last time was that they felt content with themselves and their circumstances.
In their relationships, they may feel isolated and as if their relationships are “superficial” and “hollow”. Even if they are surrounded by people, they may experience a profound sense of loneliness or they just find themselves avoiding people they used to feel some connection to.
RELEVANT BLOG
POSTS
People who feel this way frequently start having problems in their relationships with family members, significant others and other important people in their lives for different reasons but mainly because they are unhappy. This inevitably has an overall impact in their ability to experience joy in relationships with others.
What can become problematic about feeling this way for too long is that for some people, it can potentially develop in symptoms of depression and/or a serious struggle with anxiety that can start to limit in a persistent and consistent way, their ability to experience joy, happiness, satisfaction and a sense of contentment in life.
Most of us want to feel accomplished in our personal, academic, and professional lives.
We need to feel like what we do matters, and has a meaningful impact on others, and the world at large.
We need and deserve to feel connected and loved by others.
We also need time for self-care and healthy activities to find relaxation and joy in life. After all, what is the point of struggling if you find no true joy in life? But finding that sense of joy, fulfillment and happiness is not an easy task and there is not only one way to get there.
The good news however, is that with the help of experienced and compassionate therapists who have experience working with people struggling with boredom and a sense of unfulfillment in their lives, depression and/or anxiety, it is possible to get back to feeling fulfilled with your career, and your relationships and you can feel joy and satisfaction in life again.
What does therapy look like and how can we help?
Psychotherapy or talk therapy provides a confidential, safe, respectful and trusting environment where you can search for clarity, feel free to share your concerns and difficulties, as well as explore the attempted solutions to your dilemma.
In therapy sessions you will identify your strengths and progress as you are facing a particular struggle with boredom, a sense of unfulfillment in your professional, academic, and/or your personal life.
People struggle with their sense of fulfillment and joy at different stages in life ALL THE TIME and frequently, people just find themselves stuck as they attempt to face these challenges and find ways to feel better and more fulfilled again. Therapy can help you navigate through these challenges in a productive and meaningful way.
In addition to providing a supportive environment to ease your current struggles, we believe that you are the expert in your own life. That means that a big part of what we do in therapy sessions would be to look at what you value and what is most important for you in life. This will help us finding a solution to your dilemma together.
Through our work together, we are eager to get to know you better and support you as you find that coping with boredom, and a sense of unfulfillment in life is possible. You can feel in control of your emotions and your life again.
In therapy sessions, we can help you explore and learn different ways of dealing with stress and frustration by building on your own qualities and strengths, evaluating any potential changes that may lead your way toward a sense of joy and developing any new skills that can help you cope with these feelings in a more positive way. We can share with you some of the tools and resources that others (and ourselves) struggling with similar challenges, have found helpful.
We believe that the role we assume in our family and in our relationships has an impact on who we are and how we face challenges, so part of what we do in therapy will be to explore some of your family history and what matters to you the most, so you can find alternatives that best way to meet your values, needs, and fulfill your expectations in a meaningful way.
There is definitely not a “one size fits all” solution when it comes to your mental well-being but we can work together to figure what can work better for you in your current circumstances.
For over 15 years, we have worked with individuals, couples and families where a partner, a significant other, a family member has struggled with a sense of unfulfillment, boredom of feeling stuck.
We can tell you that with help and support, it is possible for people to move on with life and regain a sense of control and joy, in spite of life’s cycle of expected and/or unexpected transitions and challenges.
You may still have questions about how therapy can help you feel more fulfilled and successful in life
With all the expenses I have, is it really worth it to pay for therapy?
This is a valid and common concern for anyone who is thinking about starting therapy and frankly, adding an additional expense considering the high cost of living for New Yorkers.
If you decide to do it, it will cost you not only financially but it also requires a commitment of your time, your effort, and your attention to issues that can be difficult and challenging to face.
Nevertheless, your mental health is as important as your physical health, and therapy can honestly be the best investment in your sense of well-being. People tend to invest in their physical well-being without thinking too much about it, because it’s a “necessary” expense.
Think about it, if you were in physical pain most of the time, most likely you would end up going to the doctor to figure out what’s causing it and seek relief or a solution through treatment.
Taking care of your mental and emotional well-being is extremely important too.
The truth is, that feeling like you are stuck in life has a HUGE cost in your life and it is not only a financial one. There are other undesirable consequences when you are feeling stuck about a particular challenge in your life.
It affects your relationships, the way you feel every day when you wake up (emotionally and physically), the way you can perform at work, school or your daily life tasks, your sense of personal development and at a spiritual level you may feel disconnected or lost.
You can feel like you lack a sense of community, and like your values and your lifestyle are mismatched. You have been doing things that do not seem aligned with what you deeply care about and what you feel speaks to your heart and values.
When considering if therapy is a good investment or not, you can ask yourself a few questions.
Can I afford not to do anything about this?
What will my life look like 3 months from now if I don’t do anything about it?
What will I be missing if I decide to postpone it once again?
What could I gain if I decide to invest in addressing my concerns within the context of support and confidentiality?
Ultimately the investment in therapy might be very little compared to the long-term costs of not doing anything about what you are struggling with.
But so many people have worse problems than I do, shouldn’t I be able to figure this out on my own?
Everyone struggles at different points in life. During transitions in life, we tend to be more vulnerable and therefore we can easily get stuck in the process.
We can also have clear memories about past challenges that we were successfully able to deal with, but this one is taking the best out of us, and that can happen too. There is nothing wrong with you for that.
Sometimes we manage to figure things out on our own but sometimes we don’t. It happens. We cannot possibly have all the solutions for all the challenges we encounter.
Therapy is one way to figure things out in the context of a supportive environment where you can further explore different options that you may have not considered.
People who search for therapy have usually attempted different ways to face their dilemmas but for different reasons, they cannot always succeed.
There are many things you can do to face the challenges of a particular transition in your life, and you probably have already tried a few options but have not found relief yet and do not feel better either.
In therapy you can further explore other possibilities and still figure things out as you go, on your own but in the context of a supportive relationship with your therapist.
I tried therapy in the past but it didn’t seem to work, what if the same thing happens again?
If you tried therapy before and it didn’t work, chances are you did not get the kind of treatment you needed.
There are also different therapeutic approaches and not all of them work for everyone. For example, for someone who tends to be goal oriented, self-driven and very practical, engaging in traditional psychoanalytic therapy may not be the best fit because the treatment can be long in length, and talking about “what comes to mind” might feel too unstructured and abstract for some people. For others, it may be the best fit.
Another factor that can influence our sense of success in therapy is that there are parts of us that change over time. This means that what did not work for us during our teens, can be helpful in our adulthood years just because we are in a different state of mind, and our priorities probably have changed since then, too.
It is hard to generalize from a single experience to your whole life, and no two experiences are exactly the same.
If you are reading this and you are looking for support so you can put the pieces together and move on with your life, feel happier, accomplished and able to experience joy again, chances are that therapy has a good chance of working to your advantage this time around.
We also hear from time to time that people might not feel a “connection” with their therapist and this is something that had an impact on their sense of how helpful their therapeutic process was. This is so true and so important, too. This is perfectly normal and it can happen in therapy as it happens when you meet someone new (e.g. a friend, a coworker, a potential partner or significant other) and it feels like a mismatch.
If this is something that concerns you, We offer a free 20 minute consultation call for people who are interested in working with any of us and you can schedule it here. The consultation can give you a better sense of what we can offer. It also gives us the opportunity to hear about what you are looking for, and what you are hoping to get out of therapy. We would be able to tell you if we think we can be helpful in your journey, or if we can suggest any other alternatives.
Just be mindful that quite often, the relationship between you and your therapist evolves and grows over time as any other meaningful relationships in your life do. That requires an initial sense of comfort and a willingness to develop the relationship further as it grows and evolves.
You can live a happier and more fulfilling life
If there is a part of you that feels that this might be a good fit for you and what you are struggling with, this might be the right time to do it. If now is not the right time to get support and make positive changes in your life, when will it be? Perhaps you do not need to put off getting the support you need any longer.
Your life can be joyful and you can be successful at dealing with this particular life transition where you are feeling unfulfilled. You have been successful before, remember?
Change is possible at any moment, at any age and under many different circumstances.
If you’re interested in working with us through online therapy, please schedule a free 20-minute consultation call or fill out our contact form to discuss beginning therapy with us.
