How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Insecurities
You know your partner loves you and truly cares about you. But even though your relationship has a solid foundation, you can’t help but dwell on your insecurities sometimes.
Maybe you feel insecure in your current relationship because of something a past partner said or did. Or perhaps these insecurities are rooted in events that occurred during your childhood.
You may have hesitated to open up to your partner about your insecurities because you didn’t want to them to feel insulted. But it’s important to be truly honest with your partner so that you can find solutions and work forward together.
Here’s how to discuss your insecurities with your partner in a healthy way and find lasting solutions.
Choose the Right Moment
You’ve been waiting for the right opportunity to talk to your partner about your insecurities, but you’re not sure when to bring up the topic. Ideally, you’ll want to discuss the issue in person.
If you’re nervous to bring up the topic, you might be tempted to handle the conversation from behind a screen, but a face-to-face conversation will bring you and your partner closer.
Wait until you’re certain you’ll have plenty of time to talk—you don’t want to be rushed. And finally, aim for a time when both of you are feeling relaxed and at ease. If you’re stressed, it will be harder for you to fully open up.
Remind Them It’s Not Their Fault
When you tell your partner about your insecurities, they might immediately start wondering if they did anything wrong. They may feel guilty, especially if they had no idea that you were dealing with these insecurities behind the scenes.
It’s important to remind your partner that they are not responsible for insecurities that stem from before your relationship. You’re talking to your partner about these insecurities now because you genuinely trust them, and you know that they will respond with compassion. Let your partner know they did not
State Your Needs
When you tell your partner about your insecurities, take some time to share what you need from them in return. For instance, if a past partner was not loyal to you, you might need more reassurance and transparency from your current partner.
Or if a previous partner insulted your hobbies, you may want to know that your partner is supportive of the hobbies that make you happy. You might worry that you’re coming across as “needy,” but a loving partner will want to know what they can do to help you work through those insecurities.
Focus on Solutions
Talking about your insecurities is crucial, but you don’t want to push this issue onto the back burner again after you’ve had this discussion. If you’ve dealt with the same insecurities for a long time, actual long-term solutions might seem unlikely.
But ruminating on your insecurities won’t help you let go of them. Instead, make sure that your next conversations are centered around solutions. Think of what you both can do to boost your self-confidence so that you can become more secure.
Consider Counseling
If your partner has tried to support you in overcoming your insecurities, but you feel you haven’t made much progress, it might be time to look for professional support. A couples therapist can help you address your insecurities while strengthening your connection with your partner.
With another point of view, you may be able to see yourself in a new light.
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Are you struggling with insecurities in your relationship? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.
