You and Your Partner Have Decided to Divorce. What Comes Next?
You and your partner have come to the conclusion that you are no longer on the same path in life. Although it pains you, you both know that it’s time to separate. You’ve agreed that you’re going to get a divorce. And in the midst of your confusing, conflicting emotions, you’re not sure what to do next. You might even be hesitant to reach out for advice because right now, your feelings are so tumultuous that you don’t know how to express yourself.
Many people have walked down this difficult road before you, and you’re not alone in your predicament. Here are a few things you’ll need to do if you and your partner have decided to divorce.
Tell Those Who Need to Know
If you have children, it’s important to discuss the news with them before anyone else. Sit them down together when you will have plenty of time to talk, and let them know that your decision to divorce has nothing to do with your love for them. Answer their questions and be prepared to comfort them.
Even if you and your partner do not have children, you might have to break the news to other loved ones. For example, if you are supporting any of your relatives financially or living with your parents or in-laws, they will need to know.
Plan for Logistical Concerns
Chances are, you and your partner will still be living together for at least a little while until you can legally separate. Even if it’s challenging, you will need to work together to figure out the logistics. This includes setting ground rules for parenting duties, discussing how to manage your finances, and thinking about who will move out and where you will live.
This is also the time to hire a lawyer. You may have a lawyer work with both of you as a mediator. Alternatively, if you and your partner are deeply divided, you may work with separate lawyers for litigation.
Gather Financial Documents
For many couples in the process of separating, figuring out how to deal with the financial aspect of your divorce can be very difficult. Both of you will need to gather all of your important financial documents to present to your lawyers.
It’s okay if this process brings up messy emotions, especially if you need to go over topics like child support.
Seek Support
It can be hard to tell your friends and relatives that you and your partner will no longer be together. But you can’t go through this alone—you need someone to lean on. Opening up to a trusted friend can make you feel better.
You may also want to talk to a therapist during this tough time. While you could seek therapy as an individual, you might also be able to find a therapist who will work with both you and your partner as you navigate your separation.
Decide on Your Next Steps
Imagining your life without your partner can be painful. But even if you don’t want to envision your future alone, it’s a necessary step. Take some time to think about your own next steps. Will you move somewhere new? Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do that you were never able to because of your marriage? Are there any specific goals that you want to pursue? Considering your next steps can bring a little bit of joy and excitement back into your life.
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Have you and your partner decided that separating would be for the best? Talking to a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.
